The Gospel of Martha
Recorded by Anna Zubkova.
Edited by Vladimir Antonov.
Corrector of the English translation: Keenan Murphy
Edited by Vladimir Antonov.
Corrector of the English translation: Keenan Murphy
This Gospel is narrated by Martha, one of those Disciples of Jesus Christ who have attained the Divinity.
Contents
Chapter 1. The First Meeting with Jesus
Chapter 2. Caring for the “Earthly” and Striving for the Divine
Chapter 3. Healing Souls and Bodies
Chapter 4. The Resurrection of Lazarus
Chapter 1.
The First Meeting with Jesus
The First Meeting with Jesus
For about two thousand years, I, Martha, dreamed of telling people about what I was a witness to when Jesus was incarnated on the Earth. I did not have time to write down my Gospel during my life in the body. But now — I have the opportunity for this.
... The first time I saw Jesus was when my younger sister Mary was about to be stoned due to the accusation against her of adultery, and He protected her.
At that time, I saw Jesus as only a man: a little strange, not like everyone else, and — wise.
The fullness of His Majesty only gradually opened before me then.
... The family, in which I was born and grew up, was pious. Our parents educated us in the strictness of the rules and rites that were adopted in Judea back then.
There were three children in our family: my elder brother Lazarus, me, and my younger sister Mary.
All Jews at that time were sure that we were “God’s chosen people” and that soon the Messiah will appear for us — the Great Savior, the King sent from above. He will come only to us: to the sons and daughters of Israel. He will liberate us! He will be — the spiritual wise King! And all, who “correctly” believe, perfectly perform rituals, and fulfill the Jewish law recorded in the ancient scriptures, will be happy.
... But, in fact, in reality, everything happened just the opposite: the Messiah had come, but only a few recognized Him…
The Teachings of Jesus confused and frightened the priests! The miracles, performed by God through Him, were often called by the priests as a deception. It used to happen that they said in the synagogues that it was as if He specially ordered healthy people to pretend to be sick — so that later, in front of the crowds, they could demonstrate the healing… And therefore there were no miracles, in which the blind see, and the paralyzed rise and walk…
Or else they said that He heals “by the forces of evil”…
And He “violates observance of the Sabbath” — specifically to pervert the people!
A lot of different rumors then were flying around about Jesus.
And many wanted to see and hear Him only out of curiosity. And still others wished only to be healed of their diseases…
But there were also those who heard in the speeches of Jesus the Message from God — for all people and for themselves personally! They accepted what He taught! And they learned from Him.
... By this time, which we are talking about, our parents had long since been dead. Lazarus was the head of the family, I led the household. And Mary… — she was then still so young and frivolous!…
She fell in love with a married man… And, no matter how we cursed her, no matter how we reproached her, no matter how we forbade her, she secretly met with that person.
* * *
On that day, I was overcome with worry: Mary did not come home at all that night, the day had already come, but still she had not returned!
And now, outside, at some distance from our house, a crowd gathered and angry cries began to be heard…
Unable to withstand the alarm, I ran out of the house, saw what was happening — and began to call my brother:
“Lazarus, come quickly here, look: our sister is there! All these people have gathered around Mary! They seem to want to stone her and convict her as a harlot! They are tearing at her hair and clothes!…
“Oh, do something! Let’s go there soon! Stop them! Yes, she is dissipated and sinful, but this is too much! They’ll kill her now! Come soon!
“Look! There, next to her, a man has appeared… He has stopped the crowd — and people dispersed … And Mary — is crying at his feet…”
... That was the first time I saw Jesus. Everything was happening too far away, and I could not hear His words. But the crowd, excited by the anger, abruptly died down — just as if a storm had stopped suddenly in a few moments at sea.
Jesus shielded Mary with His body and began to speak.
Jesus was in light simple robes, all His movements were soft and smooth. A little curly hair a bit below the shoulders somehow especially shone in the sun, His appearance radiated a gentle peace. This was felt by me already then, right away, at first sight, although I certainly did not understand the cause of His impact on the souls of those people who were nearby.
... He helped Mary to rise from the ground.
The crowd dispersed.
Jesus was gently embracing weeping Mary by the shoulders, and His disciples were coming towards us.
Lazarus and I rushed to meet them.
Lazarus said:
“Thank you! You have saved our sister! Come to our house! You will be — a desired guest! And you will always be dear to our hearts! Come in!”
“I’m not alone: these people are my friends, they are with Me!”
“We will be happy to host all of you! Let the doors of our house always be open to you! Come quickly, or else those haters will return!”
“They will not return: they have thought about many things!…
“Now they have noticed sins in themselves! And now they will have time to eliminate the vices in themselves, instead of throwing themselves in anger for denouncing the sins of other people, while considering themselves righteous!”
... Jesus, who carefully supported Mary, who could barely stand on her feet after what she had gone through, entered after Lazarus into the house. They were followed by His disciples.
I followed too, still full of emotions from what had happened.
Lazarus asked:
“What is your name, my respectable guest?”
“Jesus.”
“So are You the Teacher, to Whom the people are flocking to listen?”
“Not at once you will understand who I am… But, if you want, I’ll tell you a little already now.”
... Lazarus led the guests into the room and I brought some treats.
Jesus began a conversation about the purification of the soul.
Mary was sitting on the floor, bending at His feet and covering with hands her face wet from tears.
Tears of Mary fell on the feet of Jesus. She dried them with her beautiful thick hair…
Jesus touched Mary’s head with a caress and stroked gently. Then He continued to speak, addressing to all, about the true repentance and purification of the soul:
“These tears of repentance are meaningful! They are more expensive than the best incense and fragrant oils!
“Not tears themselves, of course, but the repentance — for it is necessary to be exposed before God and freed from the vices of the soul!
“It is precisely the purification of the soul that is needed — to learn to see, hear, and understand God!
“This is what John taught the people about.
“Did you, Lazarus, hear the sermons of Prophet John, Whom the people called the ‘Baptist’?”
“No… I did not.”
“John said that the time is near! And — one, who has not purified the soul, cannot recognize the Messiah and accept Him! And — God’s Grace will not touch all those who are hardened in vices and sins, who only consider themselves as righteous and therefore avoid purifying themselves-souls from vices. They will remain deaf to the Truth! Their spiritual eyes will be blind, and they will not see the Light!
“The Messiah will come and choose only those who have prepared their own vessels of souls: they who have poured the filth out of themselves and have washed the soul by the pure waters of repentance! And then in these souls, the One Who baptizes with Fire will ignite the Flame of the Divine Love!
“John said that He prepares people for the reception of the Divine Light — through the aspiration to God in hearts and in thoughts, and also through the purification by repentance. For even the Messiah will not save the one who does not personally rush to save oneself-soul from the severity of vices!
“If for someone, the wealth of the material world is more important than the jewels of the spiritual life — even God, Who came to the Earth in the body, will seem to them only as strange man or even worse — a tempter leading people away from the dogmas of the faith of their ancestors!
“The Messiah-Savior can only show people the Way to salvation and manifest Oneself as an example of Purity and Light. Also — He will talk about how to achieve the life in Harmony and Oneness with the Heavenly Father.
“The Messiah-Savior offers His Help only to those who can and want to approach God by the quality of themselves-souls. He will not save anyone else from their own destinies, created by themselves!”
“So You’re the Savior?” — Lazarus asked stunned.
“You said so… Do not rush, listen to Me! And on the works, which are done through Me, look! You will understand yourself, when you want, who I am…”
“But what can I do to purify the soul today? Please tell me!”
“Forgive your sister Mary! For she is no longer guilty! She has understood what was bad in her thoughts and deeds and she has repented — and has rushed to the clean life!
“Her repentance is sincere! And therefore — God forgives her!”
... Jesus looked at me in some special way, as if He saw how much resentment and discontent with Mary had accumulated in me for a long time. He said:
“You too, Martha, forgive her!
“She, in fact, wanted and sought love! Therefore, she neglected the morality that has been instituted here, and caused to you so much anxiety.
“Forgive her — and do not remember that Mary, who, in your opinion, was sinful! By freeing the soul from the dirt of condemnation in such a way, you both will get closer to your own purification!”
... Lazarus retorted:
“But she disgraced our family! All the people around now already know about her sins! She is worthy of punishment, not of forgiveness!”
“What do you know about shame, Lazarus? This is, first of all, only a condemnation on the part of people! Or it is a shame of the so called self-flagellation before your own conscience: when you are ashamed of yourself.
“But such a condemnation can be false!
“I, too, am destined to judgment and ‘shame’… And later — for the same — to glorification in the centuries to come. Then it will be remembered about this ‘shame’ — as about the great ‘Glory of Jesus Christ’…
“It is much better than condemning others — to cleanse yourself and transform yourself as a soul!
“It is necessary to cultivate love in yourself! It is first born and begins to grow — like a delicate flower — in the spiritual heart of man. And after — it can expand more and more!
“God sees the outside of everyone, but also knows everything that the soul has inside! What is hidden from the eyes of men — is always open to God!”
... Jesus continued, addressing to all the disciples:
“There is great power in love-forgiveness! Understand, friends, how important this is!
“Forgiveness is a medicine for the soul!
“The one who grants forgiveness — will be helped even more than the one who gets the forgiveness!
“The ability to forgive could change a lot in the lives of people!
“The ability to forgive is an important part of the ability to love!
“Not remembering the evil about the repentant man, we do not keep him or her in their past by our own ‘heavy’ thoughts about them! So — we reveal to that one the opportunity to rush into the clean future! For we help that one to believe in himself or herself and make their own future beautiful!
“But it is not enough for a person to say ‘I forgive you’ only in words, and then, in each case, to recall his or her past sins with a reproach…
“Do not remember evil — it is easy to do this just in words! But, in reality, it is necessary to work on oneself-soul.
“It is necessary to expel all the memory of resentment, all remnants of your anger! Even if there were enough reasons for these states — but all that must be left behind!
“Taking away our heavy memories, mental reproaches, the desire to respond to the offender and condemn him or her — we cleanse by this our own future, that is, our destinies.
“We also help those, whom we forgive, by revealing to the repented ones the freedom to become better, to surpass, to overcome mistakes, to remove the burden of feeling one’s own guilt.
“And let the forgiven choose for themselves: to sin or not to sin further!
“Yes, it is necessary to explain to people: what is pure and what is sinful! Yes, everyone should be helped to open their eyes to vices: so that man, having understood and repented, can change oneself and not sin anymore!
“It is also important not to look at the sinful person ‘patronizingly’, but fill your thoughts and words to him or her with love and care: for we want to help that one!
“Yes, one must be able to see evil, but should not hate the people of evil!”
... I was astounded to listen to Jesus’ speech.
And then He again turned to me and Lazarus:
“Martha, Lazarus! Try to forgive Mary — completely, fully: so that there is not even a shadow of condemnation!
“It’s not easy for a soul to live under a hail of accusations!
“You truly wanted to protect Mary from the stones that people were going to throw at her… But accusations and convictions — they are like invisible stones that are thrown into the soul!
“The ability to forgive is a healing power and, by applying it with wisdom, you can provide great help to yourself and others.
“Find this skill! And then both your life and the life around you — will be brighter and cleaner!”
And now, outside, at some distance from our house, a crowd gathered and angry cries began to be heard…
Unable to withstand the alarm, I ran out of the house, saw what was happening — and began to call my brother:
“Lazarus, come quickly here, look: our sister is there! All these people have gathered around Mary! They seem to want to stone her and convict her as a harlot! They are tearing at her hair and clothes!…
“Oh, do something! Let’s go there soon! Stop them! Yes, she is dissipated and sinful, but this is too much! They’ll kill her now! Come soon!
“Look! There, next to her, a man has appeared… He has stopped the crowd — and people dispersed … And Mary — is crying at his feet…”
... That was the first time I saw Jesus. Everything was happening too far away, and I could not hear His words. But the crowd, excited by the anger, abruptly died down — just as if a storm had stopped suddenly in a few moments at sea.
Jesus shielded Mary with His body and began to speak.
Jesus was in light simple robes, all His movements were soft and smooth. A little curly hair a bit below the shoulders somehow especially shone in the sun, His appearance radiated a gentle peace. This was felt by me already then, right away, at first sight, although I certainly did not understand the cause of His impact on the souls of those people who were nearby.
... He helped Mary to rise from the ground.
The crowd dispersed.
Jesus was gently embracing weeping Mary by the shoulders, and His disciples were coming towards us.
Lazarus and I rushed to meet them.
Lazarus said:
“Thank you! You have saved our sister! Come to our house! You will be — a desired guest! And you will always be dear to our hearts! Come in!”
“I’m not alone: these people are my friends, they are with Me!”
“We will be happy to host all of you! Let the doors of our house always be open to you! Come quickly, or else those haters will return!”
“They will not return: they have thought about many things!…
“Now they have noticed sins in themselves! And now they will have time to eliminate the vices in themselves, instead of throwing themselves in anger for denouncing the sins of other people, while considering themselves righteous!”
... Jesus, who carefully supported Mary, who could barely stand on her feet after what she had gone through, entered after Lazarus into the house. They were followed by His disciples.
I followed too, still full of emotions from what had happened.
Lazarus asked:
“What is your name, my respectable guest?”
“Jesus.”
“So are You the Teacher, to Whom the people are flocking to listen?”
“Not at once you will understand who I am… But, if you want, I’ll tell you a little already now.”
... Lazarus led the guests into the room and I brought some treats.
Jesus began a conversation about the purification of the soul.
Mary was sitting on the floor, bending at His feet and covering with hands her face wet from tears.
Tears of Mary fell on the feet of Jesus. She dried them with her beautiful thick hair…
Jesus touched Mary’s head with a caress and stroked gently. Then He continued to speak, addressing to all, about the true repentance and purification of the soul:
“These tears of repentance are meaningful! They are more expensive than the best incense and fragrant oils!
“Not tears themselves, of course, but the repentance — for it is necessary to be exposed before God and freed from the vices of the soul!
“It is precisely the purification of the soul that is needed — to learn to see, hear, and understand God!
“This is what John taught the people about.
“Did you, Lazarus, hear the sermons of Prophet John, Whom the people called the ‘Baptist’?”
“No… I did not.”
“John said that the time is near! And — one, who has not purified the soul, cannot recognize the Messiah and accept Him! And — God’s Grace will not touch all those who are hardened in vices and sins, who only consider themselves as righteous and therefore avoid purifying themselves-souls from vices. They will remain deaf to the Truth! Their spiritual eyes will be blind, and they will not see the Light!
“The Messiah will come and choose only those who have prepared their own vessels of souls: they who have poured the filth out of themselves and have washed the soul by the pure waters of repentance! And then in these souls, the One Who baptizes with Fire will ignite the Flame of the Divine Love!
“John said that He prepares people for the reception of the Divine Light — through the aspiration to God in hearts and in thoughts, and also through the purification by repentance. For even the Messiah will not save the one who does not personally rush to save oneself-soul from the severity of vices!
“If for someone, the wealth of the material world is more important than the jewels of the spiritual life — even God, Who came to the Earth in the body, will seem to them only as strange man or even worse — a tempter leading people away from the dogmas of the faith of their ancestors!
“The Messiah-Savior can only show people the Way to salvation and manifest Oneself as an example of Purity and Light. Also — He will talk about how to achieve the life in Harmony and Oneness with the Heavenly Father.
“The Messiah-Savior offers His Help only to those who can and want to approach God by the quality of themselves-souls. He will not save anyone else from their own destinies, created by themselves!”
“So You’re the Savior?” — Lazarus asked stunned.
“You said so… Do not rush, listen to Me! And on the works, which are done through Me, look! You will understand yourself, when you want, who I am…”
“But what can I do to purify the soul today? Please tell me!”
“Forgive your sister Mary! For she is no longer guilty! She has understood what was bad in her thoughts and deeds and she has repented — and has rushed to the clean life!
“Her repentance is sincere! And therefore — God forgives her!”
... Jesus looked at me in some special way, as if He saw how much resentment and discontent with Mary had accumulated in me for a long time. He said:
“You too, Martha, forgive her!
“She, in fact, wanted and sought love! Therefore, she neglected the morality that has been instituted here, and caused to you so much anxiety.
“Forgive her — and do not remember that Mary, who, in your opinion, was sinful! By freeing the soul from the dirt of condemnation in such a way, you both will get closer to your own purification!”
... Lazarus retorted:
“But she disgraced our family! All the people around now already know about her sins! She is worthy of punishment, not of forgiveness!”
“What do you know about shame, Lazarus? This is, first of all, only a condemnation on the part of people! Or it is a shame of the so called self-flagellation before your own conscience: when you are ashamed of yourself.
“But such a condemnation can be false!
“I, too, am destined to judgment and ‘shame’… And later — for the same — to glorification in the centuries to come. Then it will be remembered about this ‘shame’ — as about the great ‘Glory of Jesus Christ’…
“It is much better than condemning others — to cleanse yourself and transform yourself as a soul!
“It is necessary to cultivate love in yourself! It is first born and begins to grow — like a delicate flower — in the spiritual heart of man. And after — it can expand more and more!
“God sees the outside of everyone, but also knows everything that the soul has inside! What is hidden from the eyes of men — is always open to God!”
... Jesus continued, addressing to all the disciples:
“There is great power in love-forgiveness! Understand, friends, how important this is!
“Forgiveness is a medicine for the soul!
“The one who grants forgiveness — will be helped even more than the one who gets the forgiveness!
“The ability to forgive could change a lot in the lives of people!
“The ability to forgive is an important part of the ability to love!
“Not remembering the evil about the repentant man, we do not keep him or her in their past by our own ‘heavy’ thoughts about them! So — we reveal to that one the opportunity to rush into the clean future! For we help that one to believe in himself or herself and make their own future beautiful!
“But it is not enough for a person to say ‘I forgive you’ only in words, and then, in each case, to recall his or her past sins with a reproach…
“Do not remember evil — it is easy to do this just in words! But, in reality, it is necessary to work on oneself-soul.
“It is necessary to expel all the memory of resentment, all remnants of your anger! Even if there were enough reasons for these states — but all that must be left behind!
“Taking away our heavy memories, mental reproaches, the desire to respond to the offender and condemn him or her — we cleanse by this our own future, that is, our destinies.
“We also help those, whom we forgive, by revealing to the repented ones the freedom to become better, to surpass, to overcome mistakes, to remove the burden of feeling one’s own guilt.
“And let the forgiven choose for themselves: to sin or not to sin further!
“Yes, it is necessary to explain to people: what is pure and what is sinful! Yes, everyone should be helped to open their eyes to vices: so that man, having understood and repented, can change oneself and not sin anymore!
“It is also important not to look at the sinful person ‘patronizingly’, but fill your thoughts and words to him or her with love and care: for we want to help that one!
“Yes, one must be able to see evil, but should not hate the people of evil!”
... I was astounded to listen to Jesus’ speech.
And then He again turned to me and Lazarus:
“Martha, Lazarus! Try to forgive Mary — completely, fully: so that there is not even a shadow of condemnation!
“It’s not easy for a soul to live under a hail of accusations!
“You truly wanted to protect Mary from the stones that people were going to throw at her… But accusations and convictions — they are like invisible stones that are thrown into the soul!
“The ability to forgive is a healing power and, by applying it with wisdom, you can provide great help to yourself and others.
“Find this skill! And then both your life and the life around you — will be brighter and cleaner!”
* * *
Jesus and His disciples spent the night in our house.
And the next day early in the morning Mary turned to Lazarus and me with a request:
“I must go with Jesus! He — has allowed this! I ask you to understand and release me! I’ll leave anyway, even if you forbid me! But I ask you: let me go in peace!
“In Him — there is the Truth, in Him — God has descended to the Earth and speaks to people!
“He does not allow everyone to go with Him. But to me — He has allowed! I ask you: let me go!”
... I said in response:
“Why does He need a maiden among male disciples? And so many bad things have been said about Him! Now they will say that a harlot walks with Him to please Him…”
“He does not care about such gossips! Yes, people often think and speak bad about others… He calls it a sin before God!
“And I myself have not been any better either so far…
“But now, I have the opportunity to live purely and brightly!
“I used to think that I can love… But that was not the real love! I really wanted love for myself, I wanted to be the beloved! I — for myself — looked for attention and worship from men! I wanted, for myself, the caress and admiration of my beauty!
“But Jesus… He has saved me, a strayed one,… from the bad in me!
“They wanted to throw stones, but He Himself protected me, saying:
‘You judge her, not knowing anything about her! You judge, not knowing what is really sin, and what is love!
‘Let the one, who thinks that he or she does not have vices and lives without sins, — let this one first throw a stone of malice!’
“And the crowd died down. And He continued:
‘Do not judge — and you will not be judged! Forgive others — and God will forgive you!’
“Then He touched my hair gently…
“He said: ‘My purest Dawn! Do not sin any more, thinking that you are a sinner!’
“He Himself radiates such a Light, such a Peace!
“He Himself is immeasurable Love!”
... I objected to my sister:
“Mary, you have merely fallen in love again! He stood up for you before the people — and you’re already in love again!”
“It’s not that! All the former, what I called love, does not count! I did not know true love before! This is not easy to convey in words…”
“And who will you be to Him?”
“A disciple… And I will learn the real life!”
... At this time Jesus entered the room, came up, embraced Mary and turned to us:
“I beg you: let her go with Me! Her fate is being decided now!”
“But what will people say when there is a woman among Your disciples, one among men?”
“Do not be afraid, Martha! Centuries will pass — and people will say that among My worthy disciples there was also a woman named Mary!”
And the next day early in the morning Mary turned to Lazarus and me with a request:
“I must go with Jesus! He — has allowed this! I ask you to understand and release me! I’ll leave anyway, even if you forbid me! But I ask you: let me go in peace!
“In Him — there is the Truth, in Him — God has descended to the Earth and speaks to people!
“He does not allow everyone to go with Him. But to me — He has allowed! I ask you: let me go!”
... I said in response:
“Why does He need a maiden among male disciples? And so many bad things have been said about Him! Now they will say that a harlot walks with Him to please Him…”
“He does not care about such gossips! Yes, people often think and speak bad about others… He calls it a sin before God!
“And I myself have not been any better either so far…
“But now, I have the opportunity to live purely and brightly!
“I used to think that I can love… But that was not the real love! I really wanted love for myself, I wanted to be the beloved! I — for myself — looked for attention and worship from men! I wanted, for myself, the caress and admiration of my beauty!
“But Jesus… He has saved me, a strayed one,… from the bad in me!
“They wanted to throw stones, but He Himself protected me, saying:
‘You judge her, not knowing anything about her! You judge, not knowing what is really sin, and what is love!
‘Let the one, who thinks that he or she does not have vices and lives without sins, — let this one first throw a stone of malice!’
“And the crowd died down. And He continued:
‘Do not judge — and you will not be judged! Forgive others — and God will forgive you!’
“Then He touched my hair gently…
“He said: ‘My purest Dawn! Do not sin any more, thinking that you are a sinner!’
“He Himself radiates such a Light, such a Peace!
“He Himself is immeasurable Love!”
... I objected to my sister:
“Mary, you have merely fallen in love again! He stood up for you before the people — and you’re already in love again!”
“It’s not that! All the former, what I called love, does not count! I did not know true love before! This is not easy to convey in words…”
“And who will you be to Him?”
“A disciple… And I will learn the real life!”
... At this time Jesus entered the room, came up, embraced Mary and turned to us:
“I beg you: let her go with Me! Her fate is being decided now!”
“But what will people say when there is a woman among Your disciples, one among men?”
“Do not be afraid, Martha! Centuries will pass — and people will say that among My worthy disciples there was also a woman named Mary!”
* * *
Mary left with Jesus. My brother Lazarus and I let her go, although reluctantly. Since then, she and Jesus have almost never parted. She became His closest companion and disciple.
And I… For a long time, I was far from direct training. But later, the time came for me to learn the Deep Truths directly. For this, I would need, while maturing, to realize a lot of things and get rid of many imperfections of the soul…
And I… For a long time, I was far from direct training. But later, the time came for me to learn the Deep Truths directly. For this, I would need, while maturing, to realize a lot of things and get rid of many imperfections of the soul…
Chapter 2.
Caring for the “Earthly”
Caring for the “Earthly”
and Striving for the Divine
Our large house seemed to become empty without Mary! It turned out that I had never before realized the importance of her presence: she was filling my and Lazarus’ lives with her joy and gentle smiles!
I was accustomed to taking care of her from my childhood. But also, being the eldest, I considered it my duty to constantly teach, edify, and correct her, believing that she creates only problems and anxiety for us! And now — I realized how much she meant to me.
... I also often remembered about Jesus...
With perplexity and with increasing interest, I was listening what other people talk about Him when I went to the market for something. I heard people say that He had healed a blind man, that He had cured a child who had no hope of being saved. Or — that He had fed a whole crowd of people when He had only seven loaves at His disposal. He had broken them — and the food was enough for all... Someone said that he saw it personally, while others objected saying that these were nothing but fantasies...
I wanted to believe in the authenticity of those stories, but I was afraid of making mistakes too! In our synagogue they did not tell us that the Messiah has come — and that everyone should follow what He teaches! There was generally just silence about Him, as if He did not exist at all! And if someone asked questions about Him, they did not reply.
Now I was looking forward to the return of Jesus. While leaving, He said that He — together with Mary and the other disciples — would surely come to our house again.
* * *
How great was my joy when they came again!
But this joy was quickly eclipsed in me by an unexpected resentment...
This time, there were with Jesus not only His closest disciples, but also a few more people whom I had not seen before.
I started to prepare a meal for everyone. And Mary stayed with Jesus and listened to His words...
I was in a hurry to feed the guests — this was a lot of work. I went to call Mary to help me. But Jesus answered that Mary had chosen the good — and that she is right in this...
I returned to the kitchen, “boiling” with indignation...
But then Philip, one of Jesus’ close disciples, entered.
“Let me help you today, Martha!”
… I was very surprised:
“You? Will you do the work of women?”
“Why is it only for women? We are on the road every day and do everything ourselves: preparing food, washing dishes, doing laundry...
“Do not be so angry with Mary! You’ll soon understand everything about Jesus and your sister! For now — just believe that it’s better to do as Jesus advises in each specific situation. And this is in everything: both in the large, and in the small!”
“But I do not understand why I should have to cook all by myself, while Mary sits at His feet, without even moving her hand or looking away! And what about all this work here that needs to be done? She doesn’t even care!”
“You should try to calm down! Now, together, we will quickly cope with everything that is necessary! Everything will be fine! This meal will be great! And all that we need to hear from Jesus — He will tell us! We will not miss anything that is needed and useful for us to know!”
... I immediately liked Philip. This young man with curly hair, with a clear glowing gaze — was so pleasant that my anger quickly subsided! And Philip was very adroit with work in the kitchen!
Soon, we were already able to bring dishes with ready-made meals to the guests. Everyone began to eat.
And after eating, when everyone settled comfortably, Jesus began a conversation:
“Friends, we all thanked God today for the food that was given to us! But I think it’s important to also thank those who raised it and those who prepared it for us. It is blessed with the work of good hands! You, Martha and Philip, have filled these delicacies with your care!”
... I was embarrassed by this praise of Jesus, I covered my face in shame with an apron... I suddenly realized that if not Philip, I would have remained insulted by Mary and even by Jesus... I would have cooked the food in a state of anger... And it is really just Philip who is worthy of praise! There is no my merit here...
And Jesus, meanwhile, went on to say:
“God must be greatly needed by a person: more important than close people, than all “earthly” things!
“But the aspiration to God does not come immediately in most people. And you should not demand this from those who are not yet ready for this state.
“It’s very easy to just say: ‘I believe! I worship God!’. And very many people do only this: hoping that by doing so, everyone around will notice how ‘righteous I am’, how carefully ‘I follow the rules’, how I ‘create prayers’...
“How many people are able to throw off all these useless ‘external things’ — and follow Me? No, not many...
“Although, of course, in due time — for each properly developing soul — a similar stage occurs, when by all forces, thoughts, and desires, a person rushes only to God and nothing else attracts him or her!
“God reveals Himself only to the real seeker of Him: to one who wants to acquire the Knowledge of Him and His Love! And who — oneself — also loves!
“God does not show His Presence to indifferent people! The aspiration for Him must become sincere and constant!
“God should be needed by the soul not as an object for ritual worship, but as the air for breathing, as water for quenching thirst, as food for the hungry! When the attention of the soul is wholly redirected from the mundane and vain — to the search for God, only then the profound transformation of the soul and the clear perception of the world of the Divine are possible!
“All this is quickly acquired — only by a few, who are already mature souls. But what about those, who would like to do, but still cannot do this with their whole heart, with all the soul — for striving to the Heavenly Father? ‘Is there no salvation for them?’ — you may ask Me.
But the righteous life is possible and in ordinary good deeds: to live in peace with people, aspiring to the knowledge of the Holy, with the desire to serve others through one’s own work! This means — to serve people by both the greater and the lesser that a concrete person can do now! It is very good! So — gradually — love develops in this soul and care grows! And it does not matter if those simple deeds seem insignificant to outsiders!
“Let someone just bake bread or make beds! But everyone must do it — in peace and in love! In the sincere service to one’s neighbor — the happiness of a righteous life is generated! Let it be only little so far, but it is in namely through such devoted work that the greater happiness is obtained!
“I’m talking about the happiness of life with God, which is possible for a soul who has learned to love unselfishly and strongly!
“If, by the soul filled with love, man rushes to God — then the Embraces of the Heavenly Father are opened up to him or her!
“Try now, as best you can, to look into the depths of the soul, where God can always be found!
“And from there — from the spiritual heart — we can look both forwards, and backwards, and in all directions.
“If we look forward — we are as if ‘flowing’ into the world of matter — to bestow it with our love.
“Or — if we look backwards and into the depths of the space — there are Peace and Light!
“And, Martha, you, too, should try to do this!
“There — inside — the spacious world of the Divine Presence opens. God always abides there! He is closer than all the people around us! Always near — right in your spiritual heart — man can discover God, Who is present in the life of every person!”
... I tried — but not much happened... It was as if a door opened a little, but the opportunity to get behind it and enter — was awaiting me....
And Jesus continued:
“This is an easy way to teach almost any person who knows how to love and aspires to God — to begin to feel the Divine Presence!
“It is the look in the opposite direction, in relation to the surrounding world of objects and earthly events, a look backwards into the depths, — that will help.
“Yes, the Divine Depths exist both upwards from our bodies, and downwards, and in any direction. But, by directing the look of the soul backwards,to the depths, it is convenient to dive into the Kingdom of God, Which is inside us! It is as if the door to this Kingdom opens!
“And it can be opened — only in a vast and loving heart!
“Then — we can learn to give our love and the Love of God, which overflow the developed spiritual heart, — to those who live around us in this world!
“It is important for everyone to understand how he or she should live and act in this world Namely, this is our main purpose — to grow love in the souls! This is the love for the beauty of the Earth, for God’s creatures, and love for our fellows, who are often very difficult to be loved... People, when communicating with each other, often show their vices: they are angry, they lie, despise, create violence, speak and think condemningly... And it is not easy sometimes to maintain love and calm in oneself-soul towards such people.
“I repeat that it is not enough only to remember about God. But it is important — to learn to live with God in your own heart!”
“But how can we distinguish between what is right to do, and what is wrong to do? What does God want from us, and what does He not want?”
Jesus answered:
“All the people, who have gathered here, have already realized the most important thing for a righteous life. This is an aspiration to the Heavenly Father!
“But in this aspiration, it is important to learn to distinguish: which things, which must be performed, are ‘earthly’ — and which things are empty and superfluous dream-desires, unnecessary worries, or worldly vanities, which can entice one with ‘earthly’ successes and with adornments from praise...
“It is necessary to direct only a little of one’s vitality towards feeding the body, or maintaining one’s health — so that righteous works for our neighbors can be performed.
“Hungry, tired, and sick bodies — weigh down the Path of knowledge and service. Therefore, everyone needs to learn to distinguish between what is important and what is unimportant in their deeds and in choosing the right time to perform them.
“And the tasks, which God defines for different people, can be different. It may be time for one person to leave all material attachments and devote all of his or her energy towards serious spiritual practices, while for another — it would be more appropriate to grow love in oneself-soul among one’s usual surroundings, including caring for the family, including children.
“It is easy for us to not be bound by the affairs of this world, to distinguish what really should and should not be done — when the Will of the Heavenly Father is already obvious for the soul.
“I will explain.
“Why did God incarnate souls into bodies and give them life in this world?
“Let us realize that all the ‘earthly’ wealth that we gather will remain here, when each of us leaves this world... The memory of good deeds usually does not last for long after the actions have been accomplished... Even the buildings, which have been built, will disappear, and written books will be forgotten too...
“So what is the most important thing for us to do while we live here, in this world?
“For what — before God — should we bear responsibility for?
“Which of our actions are important — and which are just vain vanity?
“Let everyone think about it — and the understanding will gradually come and grow.
“Perhaps someone has decided that by just being next to My body — this one will ‘be saved’? And — that it is no longer neccesary to do anything, except be next to My body?
“But it is not the location of one’s body that determines the closeness to Me! There may be one next to Me, who is bodily far away, but with thoughts, and the desire of the soul — is always with Me!
“It may also be that someone sits and listens to My words, but at the same time his or her thoughts are in condemning comparisons: for example, who among those present is closer to Me — or further from Me, who is better — or worse... Or — one could be dreaming about something “earthly”...
“Philip today, by going to help Martha in the kitchen, — stayed close to Me.
“It is very important to understand that for everyone the main thing is not the help that he or she receives, but, rather, the help that other souls accept from us! Help the worthy — and strive so that the bodies of those, to whom we help, and the souls — will be healed. And let just like this, miracles happen — transforming destinies!
“We will return again and again in our conversations to the theme of the meaning of life and the distinction between what is needed and what is not. But right now it is important for everyone to realize the following: there are also deeds that must be performed for the good of our neighbors — and this is part of our service to God. And, also, there is the work that everyone must perform over oneself-soul, which we also do for God. This is how the integrity of one’s life for God is gradually acquired. That is — the life for Him — in everything, whatever we do!”
But this joy was quickly eclipsed in me by an unexpected resentment...
This time, there were with Jesus not only His closest disciples, but also a few more people whom I had not seen before.
I started to prepare a meal for everyone. And Mary stayed with Jesus and listened to His words...
I was in a hurry to feed the guests — this was a lot of work. I went to call Mary to help me. But Jesus answered that Mary had chosen the good — and that she is right in this...
I returned to the kitchen, “boiling” with indignation...
But then Philip, one of Jesus’ close disciples, entered.
“Let me help you today, Martha!”
… I was very surprised:
“You? Will you do the work of women?”
“Why is it only for women? We are on the road every day and do everything ourselves: preparing food, washing dishes, doing laundry...
“Do not be so angry with Mary! You’ll soon understand everything about Jesus and your sister! For now — just believe that it’s better to do as Jesus advises in each specific situation. And this is in everything: both in the large, and in the small!”
“But I do not understand why I should have to cook all by myself, while Mary sits at His feet, without even moving her hand or looking away! And what about all this work here that needs to be done? She doesn’t even care!”
“You should try to calm down! Now, together, we will quickly cope with everything that is necessary! Everything will be fine! This meal will be great! And all that we need to hear from Jesus — He will tell us! We will not miss anything that is needed and useful for us to know!”
... I immediately liked Philip. This young man with curly hair, with a clear glowing gaze — was so pleasant that my anger quickly subsided! And Philip was very adroit with work in the kitchen!
Soon, we were already able to bring dishes with ready-made meals to the guests. Everyone began to eat.
And after eating, when everyone settled comfortably, Jesus began a conversation:
“Friends, we all thanked God today for the food that was given to us! But I think it’s important to also thank those who raised it and those who prepared it for us. It is blessed with the work of good hands! You, Martha and Philip, have filled these delicacies with your care!”
... I was embarrassed by this praise of Jesus, I covered my face in shame with an apron... I suddenly realized that if not Philip, I would have remained insulted by Mary and even by Jesus... I would have cooked the food in a state of anger... And it is really just Philip who is worthy of praise! There is no my merit here...
And Jesus, meanwhile, went on to say:
“God must be greatly needed by a person: more important than close people, than all “earthly” things!
“But the aspiration to God does not come immediately in most people. And you should not demand this from those who are not yet ready for this state.
“It’s very easy to just say: ‘I believe! I worship God!’. And very many people do only this: hoping that by doing so, everyone around will notice how ‘righteous I am’, how carefully ‘I follow the rules’, how I ‘create prayers’...
“How many people are able to throw off all these useless ‘external things’ — and follow Me? No, not many...
“Although, of course, in due time — for each properly developing soul — a similar stage occurs, when by all forces, thoughts, and desires, a person rushes only to God and nothing else attracts him or her!
“God reveals Himself only to the real seeker of Him: to one who wants to acquire the Knowledge of Him and His Love! And who — oneself — also loves!
“God does not show His Presence to indifferent people! The aspiration for Him must become sincere and constant!
“God should be needed by the soul not as an object for ritual worship, but as the air for breathing, as water for quenching thirst, as food for the hungry! When the attention of the soul is wholly redirected from the mundane and vain — to the search for God, only then the profound transformation of the soul and the clear perception of the world of the Divine are possible!
“All this is quickly acquired — only by a few, who are already mature souls. But what about those, who would like to do, but still cannot do this with their whole heart, with all the soul — for striving to the Heavenly Father? ‘Is there no salvation for them?’ — you may ask Me.
But the righteous life is possible and in ordinary good deeds: to live in peace with people, aspiring to the knowledge of the Holy, with the desire to serve others through one’s own work! This means — to serve people by both the greater and the lesser that a concrete person can do now! It is very good! So — gradually — love develops in this soul and care grows! And it does not matter if those simple deeds seem insignificant to outsiders!
“Let someone just bake bread or make beds! But everyone must do it — in peace and in love! In the sincere service to one’s neighbor — the happiness of a righteous life is generated! Let it be only little so far, but it is in namely through such devoted work that the greater happiness is obtained!
“I’m talking about the happiness of life with God, which is possible for a soul who has learned to love unselfishly and strongly!
“If, by the soul filled with love, man rushes to God — then the Embraces of the Heavenly Father are opened up to him or her!
“Try now, as best you can, to look into the depths of the soul, where God can always be found!
“And from there — from the spiritual heart — we can look both forwards, and backwards, and in all directions.
“If we look forward — we are as if ‘flowing’ into the world of matter — to bestow it with our love.
“Or — if we look backwards and into the depths of the space — there are Peace and Light!
“And, Martha, you, too, should try to do this!
“There — inside — the spacious world of the Divine Presence opens. God always abides there! He is closer than all the people around us! Always near — right in your spiritual heart — man can discover God, Who is present in the life of every person!”
... I tried — but not much happened... It was as if a door opened a little, but the opportunity to get behind it and enter — was awaiting me....
And Jesus continued:
“This is an easy way to teach almost any person who knows how to love and aspires to God — to begin to feel the Divine Presence!
“It is the look in the opposite direction, in relation to the surrounding world of objects and earthly events, a look backwards into the depths, — that will help.
“Yes, the Divine Depths exist both upwards from our bodies, and downwards, and in any direction. But, by directing the look of the soul backwards,to the depths, it is convenient to dive into the Kingdom of God, Which is inside us! It is as if the door to this Kingdom opens!
“And it can be opened — only in a vast and loving heart!
“Then — we can learn to give our love and the Love of God, which overflow the developed spiritual heart, — to those who live around us in this world!
“It is important for everyone to understand how he or she should live and act in this world Namely, this is our main purpose — to grow love in the souls! This is the love for the beauty of the Earth, for God’s creatures, and love for our fellows, who are often very difficult to be loved... People, when communicating with each other, often show their vices: they are angry, they lie, despise, create violence, speak and think condemningly... And it is not easy sometimes to maintain love and calm in oneself-soul towards such people.
“I repeat that it is not enough only to remember about God. But it is important — to learn to live with God in your own heart!”
“But how can we distinguish between what is right to do, and what is wrong to do? What does God want from us, and what does He not want?”
Jesus answered:
“All the people, who have gathered here, have already realized the most important thing for a righteous life. This is an aspiration to the Heavenly Father!
“But in this aspiration, it is important to learn to distinguish: which things, which must be performed, are ‘earthly’ — and which things are empty and superfluous dream-desires, unnecessary worries, or worldly vanities, which can entice one with ‘earthly’ successes and with adornments from praise...
“It is necessary to direct only a little of one’s vitality towards feeding the body, or maintaining one’s health — so that righteous works for our neighbors can be performed.
“Hungry, tired, and sick bodies — weigh down the Path of knowledge and service. Therefore, everyone needs to learn to distinguish between what is important and what is unimportant in their deeds and in choosing the right time to perform them.
“And the tasks, which God defines for different people, can be different. It may be time for one person to leave all material attachments and devote all of his or her energy towards serious spiritual practices, while for another — it would be more appropriate to grow love in oneself-soul among one’s usual surroundings, including caring for the family, including children.
“It is easy for us to not be bound by the affairs of this world, to distinguish what really should and should not be done — when the Will of the Heavenly Father is already obvious for the soul.
“I will explain.
“Why did God incarnate souls into bodies and give them life in this world?
“Let us realize that all the ‘earthly’ wealth that we gather will remain here, when each of us leaves this world... The memory of good deeds usually does not last for long after the actions have been accomplished... Even the buildings, which have been built, will disappear, and written books will be forgotten too...
“So what is the most important thing for us to do while we live here, in this world?
“For what — before God — should we bear responsibility for?
“Which of our actions are important — and which are just vain vanity?
“Let everyone think about it — and the understanding will gradually come and grow.
“Perhaps someone has decided that by just being next to My body — this one will ‘be saved’? And — that it is no longer neccesary to do anything, except be next to My body?
“But it is not the location of one’s body that determines the closeness to Me! There may be one next to Me, who is bodily far away, but with thoughts, and the desire of the soul — is always with Me!
“It may also be that someone sits and listens to My words, but at the same time his or her thoughts are in condemning comparisons: for example, who among those present is closer to Me — or further from Me, who is better — or worse... Or — one could be dreaming about something “earthly”...
“Philip today, by going to help Martha in the kitchen, — stayed close to Me.
“It is very important to understand that for everyone the main thing is not the help that he or she receives, but, rather, the help that other souls accept from us! Help the worthy — and strive so that the bodies of those, to whom we help, and the souls — will be healed. And let just like this, miracles happen — transforming destinies!
“We will return again and again in our conversations to the theme of the meaning of life and the distinction between what is needed and what is not. But right now it is important for everyone to realize the following: there are also deeds that must be performed for the good of our neighbors — and this is part of our service to God. And, also, there is the work that everyone must perform over oneself-soul, which we also do for God. This is how the integrity of one’s life for God is gradually acquired. That is — the life for Him — in everything, whatever we do!”
* * *
From that time on, Jesus and His disciples often visited us. Our house became a quiet haven where it was possible to relax, similar to a place where ships remain for a time between long wanderings amid waves and storms. These brief halts were so necessary for Jesus and His friends — to continue then again the difficult path of fulfilling the Great Task, which was entrusted to them by the Heavenly Father!
But Lazarus and I still did not understand much about Jesus. After all, He was very simple in His communications with disciples and with us!
The ministers in the temples were pompous people, arrogant, and highly respected... But Jesus walked among the people and spoke to them as equals. And He did so — with each person!
One evening, they had returned very tired. The disciples — being powerless — went to sleep more quickly. But Jesus, also tired, went to help Lazarus to fix the roof, damaged by a strong wind.
Lazarus then began to object, asking Jesus to also go rest.
But Jesus said calmly: “I am the son of a carpenter, and I can do some things. Together we can do it faster! Moreover, it will rain tonight!”.
Back then, I still had the thought that if He is God, then this rain could be canceled. Or — without any personal effort, just by God’s Power, — the repair of the roof could be done...
When the Messiah is nearby, next to us, then often people do not notice His Greatness!
But Lazarus and I still did not understand much about Jesus. After all, He was very simple in His communications with disciples and with us!
The ministers in the temples were pompous people, arrogant, and highly respected... But Jesus walked among the people and spoke to them as equals. And He did so — with each person!
One evening, they had returned very tired. The disciples — being powerless — went to sleep more quickly. But Jesus, also tired, went to help Lazarus to fix the roof, damaged by a strong wind.
Lazarus then began to object, asking Jesus to also go rest.
But Jesus said calmly: “I am the son of a carpenter, and I can do some things. Together we can do it faster! Moreover, it will rain tonight!”.
Back then, I still had the thought that if He is God, then this rain could be canceled. Or — without any personal effort, just by God’s Power, — the repair of the roof could be done...
When the Messiah is nearby, next to us, then often people do not notice His Greatness!
* * *
At first, it was difficult for me to understand Mary and the disciples of Jesus... Why do they live like this? They go places, preach, teach, and heal... Like wanderers... They are taken somewhere, and from somewhere — they are driven away...
This all seemed strange to me. Why not create a family and live a quiet, happy, and righteous life before God?
It took me a long time to learn how and when we should act in our relations with the “earthly”...
And now let my words add some understanding about this — to those who need it.
Do we really need to care about the “earthly”?
And where is the line drawn for when it’s time to reject the “earthly”? When is it time to throw off the bonds of ordinary cares? When do we need to aspire only to Heaven?
These questions are important!
The one who, before the necessary time, carelessly neglects one’s “earthly” debt — this one sins! And this sin leads to further bad fate, returning back to that unfulfilled debt...
When is it appropriate for us stop caring for the “earthly”? When and to what degree is that one right, who does not take care of his or her life in this body and has rejected all the false conventionality of earthly traditions? And this one has rejected it not because he or she is lazy to perform them, but because the High Light shines and the earth’s firmament can no longer keep that soul... Attachments to the family, to the way of habitual life, to observance of “ancestral precepts” and “rules”, which “must be followed” by the one living a “righteous life”... — all this is now in the past for him or her... The soul unstoppably tears away the terrestrial bindings of “earthly” concerns! And it all recedes away and disappears...
This is how — irresistibly — the Accomplished Soul goes to the Radiance of the Divine Light! Nothing “earthly” holds onto it anymore!
But the body can also become a Focus of the Divine Power, Which is used by the Creator to bring the Rays of the Great Light to those who are not yet in the world of the Divine.
This is what Jesus showed us!
Yes, the body can become the Divine Radiance, the link for the Manifestation of the Power of God. The soul — becomes immeasurable in size, wise, and the all-embracing Love of God!
Then the Divine Power and Bliss flow through this immortal holy body. And there is no more difference between God and the Soul Which has come to this Unity!
Thus — a Soul ascends to the Supreme Unity and manifests God through Oneself! The heart of such a Soul, and hands, and thinking have become One with the Heavenly Father. The soul now is One with the Creator of Everything in the immensity of the universe!
Jesus revealed all of this to people!
He, Who has achieved this, can repeat the words of Jesus: “I and the Father are One!”.
This all seemed strange to me. Why not create a family and live a quiet, happy, and righteous life before God?
It took me a long time to learn how and when we should act in our relations with the “earthly”...
And now let my words add some understanding about this — to those who need it.
Do we really need to care about the “earthly”?
And where is the line drawn for when it’s time to reject the “earthly”? When is it time to throw off the bonds of ordinary cares? When do we need to aspire only to Heaven?
These questions are important!
The one who, before the necessary time, carelessly neglects one’s “earthly” debt — this one sins! And this sin leads to further bad fate, returning back to that unfulfilled debt...
When is it appropriate for us stop caring for the “earthly”? When and to what degree is that one right, who does not take care of his or her life in this body and has rejected all the false conventionality of earthly traditions? And this one has rejected it not because he or she is lazy to perform them, but because the High Light shines and the earth’s firmament can no longer keep that soul... Attachments to the family, to the way of habitual life, to observance of “ancestral precepts” and “rules”, which “must be followed” by the one living a “righteous life”... — all this is now in the past for him or her... The soul unstoppably tears away the terrestrial bindings of “earthly” concerns! And it all recedes away and disappears...
This is how — irresistibly — the Accomplished Soul goes to the Radiance of the Divine Light! Nothing “earthly” holds onto it anymore!
But the body can also become a Focus of the Divine Power, Which is used by the Creator to bring the Rays of the Great Light to those who are not yet in the world of the Divine.
This is what Jesus showed us!
Yes, the body can become the Divine Radiance, the link for the Manifestation of the Power of God. The soul — becomes immeasurable in size, wise, and the all-embracing Love of God!
Then the Divine Power and Bliss flow through this immortal holy body. And there is no more difference between God and the Soul Which has come to this Unity!
Thus — a Soul ascends to the Supreme Unity and manifests God through Oneself! The heart of such a Soul, and hands, and thinking have become One with the Heavenly Father. The soul now is One with the Creator of Everything in the immensity of the universe!
Jesus revealed all of this to people!
He, Who has achieved this, can repeat the words of Jesus: “I and the Father are One!”.
Chapter 3.
Healing Souls and Bodies
Healing Souls and Bodies
One day, Jesus and His disciples had come to our house late at night, being very tired.
I gave water to all of them, so that they could wash themselves after their travels, and hurried to start the fireplace and prepare a meal.
Andrew, one of the closest disciples of Jesus, helped me, bringing firewood and more water for the needs of the kitchen.
I was already accustomed to the fact that one of the disciples of Jesus always undertook to help me in the household.
I was very pleased that this time it was Andrew who did it. I really liked him. Andrew was handsome, tall, and broad-shouldered, with strong hands and with a surprisingly beautiful calm look. I especially singled out him from all the disciples of Jesus. I really wanted to be liked by him — in the way that a woman should be liked by a man.
Andrew told me:
“You do not need to cook delicacies right now, let the food be simple. Today is not the time for a festive meal. Jesus is very tired: it was a difficult day. Mary will come to you now to help, and I’ll go tell those people that have already gathered at the entrance — to come tomorrow.
“How did they find out so quickly that He has come? So many of them only want to receive the healing of the bodies! Cripples, infirm patients — there is always a crowd of them flocking around Him!
“But He has come here not to heal their ulcers, limps, or blindness, but to teach the purity of the soul and the life with God in love! Oh, if only these people could understand this! Oh, if only they could accept the healing of the souls, about which Jesus is teaching to all, and decide to change themselves — to change their lives!
“I’ll go and tell them to come tomorrow. Today the Master must rest.”
… Having returned, Andrew drew attention to the bandage on my arm, which became visible from under my clothes when I began washing vegetables:
“What happened to your arm? Are you well?”
“I burnt my arm the other day, and the wound has not healed yet… But it’s nothing! It will pass!”
“He will definitely help you! But I just ask that you do not bother Him today!”
“Well, what’s the point of involving Him in this? It will heal by itself!”
“He always has something to do with everything! But — you can ask Him tomorrow! Today, let Him rest…”
… Everything was moving in the usual way. Mary helped me with diligence, even though she could hardly stand on her feet due to fatigue. I served bread, water, vegetables, and fruits on the table.
Suddenly, when I stopped next to Jesus, He gently touched my hand and said:
“Thank you, Martha!”
… And immediately the pain in my hand went away!…
A little surprised, I continued to busy myself with housework.
Then, when I finished washing the dishes, and everyone was already going to bed, I decided to change the bandage on my arm.
But under the bandage, there was no wound! There was not even a trace on the skin! It was a miracle! Tears came to my eyes: He knew everything about me, He did this — for me! He had revealed the Power of God! Though I did not ask Him for anything! And no one told Him! And yet, the arm was completely healed!
I was overwhelmed by so much gratitude, which did not fit into the usual understanding of gratitude! The heart was filled with the understanding that Jesus loves me, knows everything about me, even without me asking Him!
This had transformed myself-soul more than anything that I knew or heard about Him before!
* * *
The next morning Jesus went out to the people who had gathered around our house, hungry for help from Him in healing.
Among the people waiting for Jesus, there was our rich neighbor Sarah.
She always looked with hostility at what was happening in our house when Jesus was here. Often, evil gossips began their journey starting precisely from her lips.
Once, she even told me:
“Why do you take all of them in? They are freeloaders, they live in your house, they eat… And they do not pay you for the accomodations!
“And they say that this Jesus can feed a whole crowd! He only breaks one loaf of bread — and everyone receives enough food!
“All of this is lies! They only use your naivety and kindness! You and Lazarus need to be smarter!”
… I was indignant:
“Come to your senses, Sarah! Since when do we accept payment from dear guests and friends?!”
“All people earn their bread by their labor! But these ones — walk, using their strange speeches to tear everyone away from the really necessary deeds! They will completely ruin your sister! And you and Lazarus consider it an honor to receive them! Do you really think that they are saints?”
… I then waved my hand and went away, not wanting to get involved in a dispute…
And now Sarah — on her knees and all in tears — stood among those asking for help from Jesus…
… In my mind, there was a malevolent thought that Sarah got what she deserved… After all, often, it is only when people comprehend suffering and misfortune that they remember about God! And now — Sarah needed Jesus, Whom she had always despised and slandered! He had become needed — only after a certain misfortune had come to her house!…
With an effort, I drove this thought away: “Do not take revenge on the offenders even in your thoughts! Do not rejoice in the misfortunes of even evil people!” — Jesus taught us. We should not triumph when a person receives punishment — even if it is deserved! After all, perhaps, Sarah’s eyes have been opened now!…
I remembered the words of Jesus: “God comes to the house of every man in different ways…”.
… And Sarah howled from grief, crawled on her knees to Jesus, clutched the edges of His clothes and asked:
“My son is dying! Have mercy! Help me! Save him! This morning, he had fallen from a cliff and landed against the rocks! And he still has not regained consciousness!”
… And behind Sarah, through the crowd, her servants walked, carrying her son on a stretcher: a boy of about ten, who was unconscious.
“God — the Father of Mine and yours — in His Power — is omnipotent over all! Do you believe, Sarah, in His Power, Justice, and Omnipotence?”
“There was no faith in me before, even though I considered myself a believer!… I am a sinner before You, because I was mistaken! Forgive me! Save my son!”
“Try not to forget what you have realized now, Sarah! Your son will be healthy!”
Jesus stretched His hands over the boy — and he woke up and got up!
The boy came to Jesus, embraced Him and stood there for a long time. Jesus also embraced the boy and said something quietly to him alone.
And there was silence, all the people around kept quiet…
Then Jesus healed many sick people and answered their questions.
And a blind old man was last to approach.
Jesus had touched his eyes — and he received his sight!
Out of all that they saw and heard, the people marveled at this miracle most of all.
People whispered to each other: “He is truly from God, for the sick have recovered and even a blind man has received his sight!”
Jesus explained:
“Today — in front of you — I have healed a man who was blind. This one, who was blind, began to see the light!
“But, like this, now the soul must be healed! You — as souls! — should see the Light of the Holy Spirit, hear the Words of God, Who is always near you — for there is no place where there is no God!
“Only one alone can shut oneself off from Him — by one’s own will or by ignorance!
“The Power of the Heavenly Father is great, and bodies can be healed. But these miracles are revealed through Me — in order to save not only the bodies from suffering but also the souls!
“Even before you saw and heard Me, most of you knew that there is God. And many of you believed that you had a firm faith…
“None of you doubt the words of the ancient prophets. And everyone reveres them.
“But the Man from God has come and talks about the Truth, which must be understood, accepted, and executed right now, — and people begin to doubt, be lazy, or postpone the transformation of themselves-souls for later!
“But the life of each of us is happening right now in front of God, not in the past and not in the future! Right now, a time has been assigned for your decisions and your transformation!
“And when tomorrow comes — then, too, in every hour, in every moment of your lives, you will be before the sight of the Heavenly Father!
“God can perform miracles with healing bodies — to strengthen faith. But He does not do — instead of people — their work on the transformation of souls!
“Each of you does your own deeds in life: in fields, in houses, in growing grain, in firing pottery, carpentry or working with metals, or, like most women, cooking meals and taking care of children and the home.
“But there is the main work appointed by God to man: it is the labor on oneself-soul.
“Many parables have been composed on how a father instructs his sons to multiply his wealth — and then looks at how they work.
“But should we talk here about earthly wealth?
“Leaving the body, the soul cannot take with it anything of value from the world, except for the love that one has cultivated in oneself and distributed to all around!
“Material wealth grows when a person accumulates it in order to own it.
“The real wealth of man, which has value in the subsequent life, grows when a person gives what he or she has!
“The more love a person gives to others — the more rich, abundant, and strong love he or she becomes as a soul.
“One, who is giving love, multiplies it both in oneself and around oneself! He or she is like a sower who sows good seeds!
“Understand: what you give — multiplies the wealth of yourself-soul! Whether it’s earthly gifts or spiritual gifts, little or large gifts — give them with love — and the beauty and strength of the souls will grow!
“The more the soul is purified and cultivated with good qualities — the more the Divine world opens for such a soul!
“The seed, planted in the soil, is, at first, in darkness. The root appears, and then the sprout grows from the soil — so that the plant can see the light.
“This is the miracle of birth. But this is only the beginning of its life in this world.
“The plant eats from the ground through the roots — as well as from the light of the Sun and the rains spilling from the sky.
“A lot of time must pass, so that a sufficiently strong tree, capable of bearing fruits, grows from the seed.
“Likewise, a soul needs to grow both in the earthly world, and in the Light of the Divine Spirits! And also, it must be watered with the moisture of the true knowledge.
“People-souls are sent to the Earth in order to grow and to learn, first of all, how to increase one’s love! That’s how souls approach God, Who is Perfect Love!
“A powerful tree will not grow from a seed if it is deprived of its nutrition from the soil. But it will also not grow if it is deprived of light and moisture.
“The soul must be nurtured like such a tree.
“A Great and Perfect Soul can be made from a small seed!
“The miracle of birth in the Light, when the soul attains faith, then begins to feel the Presence of Living God and see His Light — is like the life of a sprout which squeezes through the soil to the surface and then grows.
“Ahead of each of you, lies a great effort to transform and nurture yourself-soul! It will not happen all at once. But every moment of your lives can be filled with that conscious cultivation of love and wisdom that the Heavenly Father is waiting for from His children!
“People do not have the opportunity to simply ‘run away’ from the problems that they carry in themselves, from prejudices that are kept in the mind, from harmful habits. But it is necessary to constantly rid the soul of perverse qualities and develop new properties, skills, and a clean and benevolent mindset. This is your work for God!
“And there is no way to approach God, to learn to feel, see, and hear Him, until this work is accomplished.
“As if covered with dust and clods of dirt — the soul trudges along being burdened with vices! And these accumulated layers are also covered with ‘masked attires’, which hide that dirt from the eyes of people around — from those people who can see only the outside.
“The soul must cast off those ‘vestments’ of false grandeur, ostentatious decency, and cleanse itself from the filth of all other vices! Let it be like this: naked and purified — the soul must appear before God!”
“And what sacrifices should we bring to God for these healings? Should we bring them to You?” — one of those, who had been healed on this day, asked.
“I do not do anything from Myself! But I do what God desires — the Heavenly Father of both Mine and of all of you!
“Think yourselves: what does God need from man?
“Is it really pleasing for God to see the torment of the innocent lambs being killed? Does it really purify you from the sins that have been committed by you? No! So is it possible to show your gratitude to God in this way?
“And does God need money to be brought to the priests? How can the ‘sacrifice’ of such actions be pleasing to God? Is it true that since many of you have been healed by the Power of God today, that you should go to the temple and contribute money for killing animals or for other ‘thankful’ rituals?
“No! Let the gratitude, which was born in your hearts, light the lamps of the unquenchable love that will never cease to burn in yourselves-souls! Let your ‘sacrifice’ to God be your rejection of your own evil desires, thoughts, words, and deeds of unkindness!
“Let your kind deeds, done for all around, be your thanksgiving to God!
“Man is not a body or a mind, but a soul, capable of loving and thinking, even while living in the body or without a body.
“The bodiless soul is able to think, rejoice, cognize, and love!
“And it is for personal development, first of all, that God sends souls to evolve in bodies!
“But, unfortunately, not all people, born on the Earth, are aware of these tasks and opportunities!
“Human life can be like the life of animals: it takes place, first of all, in cares for food and reproduction. But it can also be sublime — thanks to the awareness of life and to spiritual efforts!”
… Together with all the others, I listened to Jesus and the understanding filled me.
Among the people waiting for Jesus, there was our rich neighbor Sarah.
She always looked with hostility at what was happening in our house when Jesus was here. Often, evil gossips began their journey starting precisely from her lips.
Once, she even told me:
“Why do you take all of them in? They are freeloaders, they live in your house, they eat… And they do not pay you for the accomodations!
“And they say that this Jesus can feed a whole crowd! He only breaks one loaf of bread — and everyone receives enough food!
“All of this is lies! They only use your naivety and kindness! You and Lazarus need to be smarter!”
… I was indignant:
“Come to your senses, Sarah! Since when do we accept payment from dear guests and friends?!”
“All people earn their bread by their labor! But these ones — walk, using their strange speeches to tear everyone away from the really necessary deeds! They will completely ruin your sister! And you and Lazarus consider it an honor to receive them! Do you really think that they are saints?”
… I then waved my hand and went away, not wanting to get involved in a dispute…
And now Sarah — on her knees and all in tears — stood among those asking for help from Jesus…
… In my mind, there was a malevolent thought that Sarah got what she deserved… After all, often, it is only when people comprehend suffering and misfortune that they remember about God! And now — Sarah needed Jesus, Whom she had always despised and slandered! He had become needed — only after a certain misfortune had come to her house!…
With an effort, I drove this thought away: “Do not take revenge on the offenders even in your thoughts! Do not rejoice in the misfortunes of even evil people!” — Jesus taught us. We should not triumph when a person receives punishment — even if it is deserved! After all, perhaps, Sarah’s eyes have been opened now!…
I remembered the words of Jesus: “God comes to the house of every man in different ways…”.
… And Sarah howled from grief, crawled on her knees to Jesus, clutched the edges of His clothes and asked:
“My son is dying! Have mercy! Help me! Save him! This morning, he had fallen from a cliff and landed against the rocks! And he still has not regained consciousness!”
… And behind Sarah, through the crowd, her servants walked, carrying her son on a stretcher: a boy of about ten, who was unconscious.
“God — the Father of Mine and yours — in His Power — is omnipotent over all! Do you believe, Sarah, in His Power, Justice, and Omnipotence?”
“There was no faith in me before, even though I considered myself a believer!… I am a sinner before You, because I was mistaken! Forgive me! Save my son!”
“Try not to forget what you have realized now, Sarah! Your son will be healthy!”
Jesus stretched His hands over the boy — and he woke up and got up!
The boy came to Jesus, embraced Him and stood there for a long time. Jesus also embraced the boy and said something quietly to him alone.
And there was silence, all the people around kept quiet…
Then Jesus healed many sick people and answered their questions.
And a blind old man was last to approach.
Jesus had touched his eyes — and he received his sight!
Out of all that they saw and heard, the people marveled at this miracle most of all.
People whispered to each other: “He is truly from God, for the sick have recovered and even a blind man has received his sight!”
Jesus explained:
“Today — in front of you — I have healed a man who was blind. This one, who was blind, began to see the light!
“But, like this, now the soul must be healed! You — as souls! — should see the Light of the Holy Spirit, hear the Words of God, Who is always near you — for there is no place where there is no God!
“Only one alone can shut oneself off from Him — by one’s own will or by ignorance!
“The Power of the Heavenly Father is great, and bodies can be healed. But these miracles are revealed through Me — in order to save not only the bodies from suffering but also the souls!
“Even before you saw and heard Me, most of you knew that there is God. And many of you believed that you had a firm faith…
“None of you doubt the words of the ancient prophets. And everyone reveres them.
“But the Man from God has come and talks about the Truth, which must be understood, accepted, and executed right now, — and people begin to doubt, be lazy, or postpone the transformation of themselves-souls for later!
“But the life of each of us is happening right now in front of God, not in the past and not in the future! Right now, a time has been assigned for your decisions and your transformation!
“And when tomorrow comes — then, too, in every hour, in every moment of your lives, you will be before the sight of the Heavenly Father!
“God can perform miracles with healing bodies — to strengthen faith. But He does not do — instead of people — their work on the transformation of souls!
“Each of you does your own deeds in life: in fields, in houses, in growing grain, in firing pottery, carpentry or working with metals, or, like most women, cooking meals and taking care of children and the home.
“But there is the main work appointed by God to man: it is the labor on oneself-soul.
“Many parables have been composed on how a father instructs his sons to multiply his wealth — and then looks at how they work.
“But should we talk here about earthly wealth?
“Leaving the body, the soul cannot take with it anything of value from the world, except for the love that one has cultivated in oneself and distributed to all around!
“Material wealth grows when a person accumulates it in order to own it.
“The real wealth of man, which has value in the subsequent life, grows when a person gives what he or she has!
“The more love a person gives to others — the more rich, abundant, and strong love he or she becomes as a soul.
“One, who is giving love, multiplies it both in oneself and around oneself! He or she is like a sower who sows good seeds!
“Understand: what you give — multiplies the wealth of yourself-soul! Whether it’s earthly gifts or spiritual gifts, little or large gifts — give them with love — and the beauty and strength of the souls will grow!
“The more the soul is purified and cultivated with good qualities — the more the Divine world opens for such a soul!
“The seed, planted in the soil, is, at first, in darkness. The root appears, and then the sprout grows from the soil — so that the plant can see the light.
“This is the miracle of birth. But this is only the beginning of its life in this world.
“The plant eats from the ground through the roots — as well as from the light of the Sun and the rains spilling from the sky.
“A lot of time must pass, so that a sufficiently strong tree, capable of bearing fruits, grows from the seed.
“Likewise, a soul needs to grow both in the earthly world, and in the Light of the Divine Spirits! And also, it must be watered with the moisture of the true knowledge.
“People-souls are sent to the Earth in order to grow and to learn, first of all, how to increase one’s love! That’s how souls approach God, Who is Perfect Love!
“A powerful tree will not grow from a seed if it is deprived of its nutrition from the soil. But it will also not grow if it is deprived of light and moisture.
“The soul must be nurtured like such a tree.
“A Great and Perfect Soul can be made from a small seed!
“The miracle of birth in the Light, when the soul attains faith, then begins to feel the Presence of Living God and see His Light — is like the life of a sprout which squeezes through the soil to the surface and then grows.
“Ahead of each of you, lies a great effort to transform and nurture yourself-soul! It will not happen all at once. But every moment of your lives can be filled with that conscious cultivation of love and wisdom that the Heavenly Father is waiting for from His children!
“People do not have the opportunity to simply ‘run away’ from the problems that they carry in themselves, from prejudices that are kept in the mind, from harmful habits. But it is necessary to constantly rid the soul of perverse qualities and develop new properties, skills, and a clean and benevolent mindset. This is your work for God!
“And there is no way to approach God, to learn to feel, see, and hear Him, until this work is accomplished.
“As if covered with dust and clods of dirt — the soul trudges along being burdened with vices! And these accumulated layers are also covered with ‘masked attires’, which hide that dirt from the eyes of people around — from those people who can see only the outside.
“The soul must cast off those ‘vestments’ of false grandeur, ostentatious decency, and cleanse itself from the filth of all other vices! Let it be like this: naked and purified — the soul must appear before God!”
“And what sacrifices should we bring to God for these healings? Should we bring them to You?” — one of those, who had been healed on this day, asked.
“I do not do anything from Myself! But I do what God desires — the Heavenly Father of both Mine and of all of you!
“Think yourselves: what does God need from man?
“Is it really pleasing for God to see the torment of the innocent lambs being killed? Does it really purify you from the sins that have been committed by you? No! So is it possible to show your gratitude to God in this way?
“And does God need money to be brought to the priests? How can the ‘sacrifice’ of such actions be pleasing to God? Is it true that since many of you have been healed by the Power of God today, that you should go to the temple and contribute money for killing animals or for other ‘thankful’ rituals?
“No! Let the gratitude, which was born in your hearts, light the lamps of the unquenchable love that will never cease to burn in yourselves-souls! Let your ‘sacrifice’ to God be your rejection of your own evil desires, thoughts, words, and deeds of unkindness!
“Let your kind deeds, done for all around, be your thanksgiving to God!
“Man is not a body or a mind, but a soul, capable of loving and thinking, even while living in the body or without a body.
“The bodiless soul is able to think, rejoice, cognize, and love!
“And it is for personal development, first of all, that God sends souls to evolve in bodies!
“But, unfortunately, not all people, born on the Earth, are aware of these tasks and opportunities!
“Human life can be like the life of animals: it takes place, first of all, in cares for food and reproduction. But it can also be sublime — thanks to the awareness of life and to spiritual efforts!”
… Together with all the others, I listened to Jesus and the understanding filled me.
* * *
After that, I talked with Mary. And she told me another story about how Jesus helps people:
“I’ve seen many miracles in the past months of separation from you! He heals and preaches almost every day! It even seems to me sometimes that I have become accustomed to miracles…
“But yesterday afternoon, I saw something that had struck me more than all those miraculous healings…
“The greatest miracle happens when the soul sees and directly perceives God! And then — the soul does not lose this, but keeps the Light, which has ignited in the heart, and augments It!
“He also spoke about this to people that time. But not many understood Him…
“Then, as we were walking, a huge crowd followed us.
“Jesus, I repeat, already spoke with these people and had healed many of them… But they did not understand almost anything from His speeches! They tried to touch His body… They kept on wanting and wanting miracles and blessings from Him…
“The crowd was huge! There was dust lifted up by many feet, heat, and stuffiness…
“Suddenly, an elderly woman fell down. And because of this, she was almost trampled to death!
“I would not have seen this, and none of the disciples would have noticed if Jesus had not stopped.
“She, exhausted, layed on the side of the road, where she was dragged, so that the crowd would not hurt her even more…
“She looked after the departed — with despair! Her whole appearance seemed to say: ‘Jesus, do not leave! I no longer have the strength to follow You!…’.
“Jesus had returned and came close to her. People parted before Him.
“He bent down, His hands touched her head and heart area.
He said:
‘For those, who want to be with Me, I am always near! There is no distance between us, and there is no time of parting! I am always in your spiritual heart!
‘Get up and return to your house! You can go your way with Me in your heart — all your life! And the paradise will be opened before you, when your hour comes!’
“He lifted and kissed her.
“She smiled — happily! — and went home, without looking back.
“Thousands of people continued to crowd around Him… But it was this woman who got the most that day!”
“But you, too, follow after the body of Jesus. And, no matter how much I ask you, you will not stay at home with me and Lazarus. Is that not so?”
“Yes, it’s so…
“Once John asked Jesus about this:
‘Teacher, why do You say to some people to leave everything and follow You, and to others — that they go to their houses and only live a life of righteousness before God? You teach them only to keep the commandments of mercy, caring for others, and love for God. Why do You advise differently?’
“Jesus answered:
‘Do many need the kind of life that you now live with Me? Would they not get bored soon, desiring their herds and plowlands, the relatives that they left, and will they not want to return to their old life? It is always better to move, even slowly, but still approaching God — than in a brief impulse to rush, and then rush back!
‘Do many people want and can learn from Me what I teach you? The purpose is not to just herd flocks of sheep, but to instruct the children of God in the ways of righteous life, to sow not wheat but seeds of knowledge of God, to cultivate the fields of souls, bringing a harvest to the Heavenly Father.
‘Small souls cannot yet contain all the understanding of the Heavenly Kingdom. The Infinity of the Kingdom cannot be embraced by them yet… And they cannot yet manifest the Love and Power of the Heavenly Father — through themselves…’
‘But can we really do this?’ — John asked.
“And Jesus answered Him:
‘That’s why I have chosen you and teach you. I do so because you can do it! And let everyone do what he or she can — for the glory of the Heavenly Father! Then — power will increase, and your skills will grow!’”
“I’ve seen many miracles in the past months of separation from you! He heals and preaches almost every day! It even seems to me sometimes that I have become accustomed to miracles…
“But yesterday afternoon, I saw something that had struck me more than all those miraculous healings…
“The greatest miracle happens when the soul sees and directly perceives God! And then — the soul does not lose this, but keeps the Light, which has ignited in the heart, and augments It!
“He also spoke about this to people that time. But not many understood Him…
“Then, as we were walking, a huge crowd followed us.
“Jesus, I repeat, already spoke with these people and had healed many of them… But they did not understand almost anything from His speeches! They tried to touch His body… They kept on wanting and wanting miracles and blessings from Him…
“The crowd was huge! There was dust lifted up by many feet, heat, and stuffiness…
“Suddenly, an elderly woman fell down. And because of this, she was almost trampled to death!
“I would not have seen this, and none of the disciples would have noticed if Jesus had not stopped.
“She, exhausted, layed on the side of the road, where she was dragged, so that the crowd would not hurt her even more…
“She looked after the departed — with despair! Her whole appearance seemed to say: ‘Jesus, do not leave! I no longer have the strength to follow You!…’.
“Jesus had returned and came close to her. People parted before Him.
“He bent down, His hands touched her head and heart area.
He said:
‘For those, who want to be with Me, I am always near! There is no distance between us, and there is no time of parting! I am always in your spiritual heart!
‘Get up and return to your house! You can go your way with Me in your heart — all your life! And the paradise will be opened before you, when your hour comes!’
“He lifted and kissed her.
“She smiled — happily! — and went home, without looking back.
“Thousands of people continued to crowd around Him… But it was this woman who got the most that day!”
“But you, too, follow after the body of Jesus. And, no matter how much I ask you, you will not stay at home with me and Lazarus. Is that not so?”
“Yes, it’s so…
“Once John asked Jesus about this:
‘Teacher, why do You say to some people to leave everything and follow You, and to others — that they go to their houses and only live a life of righteousness before God? You teach them only to keep the commandments of mercy, caring for others, and love for God. Why do You advise differently?’
“Jesus answered:
‘Do many need the kind of life that you now live with Me? Would they not get bored soon, desiring their herds and plowlands, the relatives that they left, and will they not want to return to their old life? It is always better to move, even slowly, but still approaching God — than in a brief impulse to rush, and then rush back!
‘Do many people want and can learn from Me what I teach you? The purpose is not to just herd flocks of sheep, but to instruct the children of God in the ways of righteous life, to sow not wheat but seeds of knowledge of God, to cultivate the fields of souls, bringing a harvest to the Heavenly Father.
‘Small souls cannot yet contain all the understanding of the Heavenly Kingdom. The Infinity of the Kingdom cannot be embraced by them yet… And they cannot yet manifest the Love and Power of the Heavenly Father — through themselves…’
‘But can we really do this?’ — John asked.
“And Jesus answered Him:
‘That’s why I have chosen you and teach you. I do so because you can do it! And let everyone do what he or she can — for the glory of the Heavenly Father! Then — power will increase, and your skills will grow!’”
Chapter 4.
The Resurrection of Lazarus
The Resurrection of Lazarus
Now, I knew for sure that Jesus is Divine and that everything that He teaches is true!
But this unexpectedly added problems for me…
I began sometimes to fear Jesus: being afraid that He sees all my shortcomings and knows all my sinful thoughts…
When I first thought about the fact that God knows everything about every person at all times — to me, this did not seem like a difficulty for my life… But when a Divine Teacher is near, and I myself do not restrain irritation, vain thoughts, and do not choose the Divine… And He sees all this…
I had not yet been able to live in the spiritual heart all the time, and bad thoughts often crept into my head, like flies that flock to honey.
Realizing that I was sinning, sometimes I still allowed envy and even despondency to overcome me…
I thought about how lucky Mary was because she was always with Jesus, because He had chosen her and loves her… Since childhood, I had thought that Mary was always prettier than me: slimmer, slenderer… And that she always received much more attention and love than me… And I also wanted to experience the love, in which, I saw Mary live! Now she was always shining like a gentle sun! And this love would pour out not only on Jesus, but on everything and everyone around!
And then, at times, I thought sadly that I was already quite old and that it was time to get married and start a family… And I dreamed that, for example, Andrew — suddenly — would fall in love with me… And that he would live in our house… And that he would be my husband…
I understood that it was not to be: Andrew not have been able abandon Jesus and to live a “normal life”: the kind that Lazarus and I had been doing so far.
Or, other times, because of loneliness and vain cares, or because of the understanding of my sinfulness before God, — I fell into despair and even cried at times from powerlessness and self-pity…
I continued to live as before… Even though I knew now that I could live in a different way…
I was ashamed of this — but there was nothing that I could do about it!…
Of course, I tried to repent, to keep my thoughts on God… But it only helped for a while…
Only sometimes it happened that I could immerse myself in the abode of the heart and feel God for brief moments… And then the bad thoughts left me — and I became filled with happiness, joy, and the hope that everything would turn out well for me…
At such moments, I forgot all the bad things for a while — and it was so joyful and good!
But more often, I felt unhappy and hopeless…
Instead of thanking God for the wonderful opportunity to see and hear Jesus, to learn from Him — I was sad about my fate: about unfulfilled hopes and unsatisfied desires.
And then a misfortune happened in our house: Lazarus had fallen ill.
At first, I was not really afraid. But the disease developed rapidly. And Lazarus once asked:
“I’m dying… Send someone for Jesus, Martha! Only He alone can heal this illness…”
… I went to our neighbor Sarah, who had changed a lot for the better since that time when Jesus had healed her son.
She, at my request, immediately sent her servants to various places, so that they could find Jesus and call for His help.
Two more days had passed.
Lazarus became worse and worse…
And then only Mary had come instead of Jesus.
In alarm, I asked:
“But where is Jesus? Why are you alone?”
“He will be here later. He said that it is necessary…”
“But Lazarus is not doing well!… Oh, why did not you bring Him, did not beg Him!…”
… We together went to our brother.
The pallid face of Lazarus seemed to become gray from suffering. He became very thin over the past days. It was clear that the death of his body was already very close…
Lazarus was delighted to see Mary. Then, realizing that Jesus had not come with her and that his hopes of help had not come true, he said:
“My sisters, sit beside me! Do not cry! Listen to me! It seems that Jesus will not come and save me… I’m dying…
“Please, be silent! I know that now it is so! And false consolations are not necessary!
“Apparently, I am not worthy to be healed by Him.”
… I slightly objected:
“But Jesus saved even those who were unfamiliar to Him! And the biggest sinners — He healed even them too! Who is without sin?!…”
“It’s different here…
“After all, I sometimes did not listen to Him, even when He was here with all of us.
“Sometimes, I heard and remembered the words of Jesus, and admired them… But I did not begin to live as He taught! I thought that I would still have time, and that I’m not old yet, and that there is still a long life in front of me…
“I even thought that the very presence of Jesus in our house, and the friendship with Him — are already protecting us from all possible troubles!…
“And it seemed to me that I could ‘get rich’ with a worldly life!… And that I could be completely happy, satisfying only my earthly desires and needs…
“It happens that we ourselves allow ourselves to sin and think: ‘We will have time to become better to stand before God!’
“I thought that I was kinder and more righteous than many other people! And — that I do not sin often! And the fact that I did not make the spiritual efforts, which were feasible to me, — I did not at all consider this to be a sin… I postponed all this…
“But, as it turns out, death has come — and now I will stand face to face with the Heavenly Father and it’s time for me to give an account of my whole life… It pains me that I missed the good opportunities!
“Oh, if I had understood this before, I would not have wasted the days of my life with so many unnecessary worries, so many unimportant and insignificant things!…
To get rich, to achieve prosperity in earthly life and respect from surrounding people, and then…
“And now — for me this then has come!… And I realize that I do not have enough time…
“Now I regret it, but it’s too late…
“You, Mary and Martha, — you have not to repeat my mistake! Live — like Jesus teaches! You can do this! I know it, my beloveds!
“And tell Jesus that I loved Him! I’m sorry that it all has happened so: that I did not do what I could… Grant me, oh God, an hour of death that is not so bitter and so scary!
… Lazarus could no longer speak.
I burst into tears, full of despair.
Mary, on the other hand, shone more and more with the light of love and tenderness, trying to embrace and fill Lazarus with this gentle peace. She took the dying man’s hands, squeezed them in her hands and said:
“All that we can do now, my dear brother, is to be filled with love for our Heavenly Father! He is the Infinite Love! Let’s trust in His Undying Power! Let everything be done according to His Will!”
And it worked! It seemed that Mary was able to remove the pain of the body and, most importantly, to calm the soul a little. The face of Lazarus had brightened. He no longer looked at us, but gave himself completely to God.
Soon he lost consciousness, and died at night.
* * *
The body of Lazarus, wrapped in veils, was placed in a cave, and a stone was piled on it.
It was four days before Jesus had come.
I met Him all in tears:
“You’re late, Jesus! He has died… It’s the fourth day… If You had been near; our brother would not have died!”
“Well, why are you crying as if you did not listen to Me at all? Perhaps, maybe, is it a time for Me, too, to cry and mourn?
“After all, there is something to mourn: for Lazarus did not have time to comprehend everything that he could have in this life…”
“He was sorry about that, Jesus!”
“Do not cry, Martha! Let’s go!
“You and Mary can now show Me where his body was buried.”
… Together with Jesus, there were His disciples and many more people who heard that Jesus had returned.
We had arrived at the cave where Lazarus was buried. At the request of Jesus, several powerful men rolled the stone aside.
Jesus called out:
“Lazarus, rise!”
… The soul — according to the united Will of Jesus and the Heavenly Father, — returned to the body of Lazarus!
All those present saw it, and this miracle shocked so many of the witnesses! And many, who did not believe Jesus before, now believed that He was from God.
Lazarus was helped to get rid of the covers, in which his body was wrapped during the burial, and his body was clothed in clean and new clothes, which Philip had given.
Jesus embraced Lazarus:
“By the grace of the Heavenly Father, you are given the opportunity to return to this body and have time to correct those mistakes that you have committed. And also — to work on yourself-soul so that during the life in this body you deserve the right to enter the Heavenly Kingdom! For one, who has not cognized this Kingdom during one’s life in the body, does not receive it after the death of the body!”
It was four days before Jesus had come.
I met Him all in tears:
“You’re late, Jesus! He has died… It’s the fourth day… If You had been near; our brother would not have died!”
“Well, why are you crying as if you did not listen to Me at all? Perhaps, maybe, is it a time for Me, too, to cry and mourn?
“After all, there is something to mourn: for Lazarus did not have time to comprehend everything that he could have in this life…”
“He was sorry about that, Jesus!”
“Do not cry, Martha! Let’s go!
“You and Mary can now show Me where his body was buried.”
… Together with Jesus, there were His disciples and many more people who heard that Jesus had returned.
We had arrived at the cave where Lazarus was buried. At the request of Jesus, several powerful men rolled the stone aside.
Jesus called out:
“Lazarus, rise!”
… The soul — according to the united Will of Jesus and the Heavenly Father, — returned to the body of Lazarus!
All those present saw it, and this miracle shocked so many of the witnesses! And many, who did not believe Jesus before, now believed that He was from God.
Lazarus was helped to get rid of the covers, in which his body was wrapped during the burial, and his body was clothed in clean and new clothes, which Philip had given.
Jesus embraced Lazarus:
“By the grace of the Heavenly Father, you are given the opportunity to return to this body and have time to correct those mistakes that you have committed. And also — to work on yourself-soul so that during the life in this body you deserve the right to enter the Heavenly Kingdom! For one, who has not cognized this Kingdom during one’s life in the body, does not receive it after the death of the body!”
* * *
When the strangers had parted, we returned to our house.
Lazarus was now perfectly well. He seemed to be younger, cheerful, and full of strength and hope, like never before.
In the evening, Jesus offered:
“Lazarus, tell us about what you experienced, so that everyone here will know this from you.”
… And Lazarus told about his bitter afflictions before his death and about what he had experienced when he had died:
“To receive the Divine Instructions and not fulfill them is an expression of disrespect and disregard for God!
“It is negligible — the happiness from all the earthly joys, from all the earthly successes, from the respect and honor in the eyes of other people, and from the savings for one’s well-being in the world!
“I understood this only before death itself, when there was no time and energy to change anything.
“Each of us is given the opportunity to live here — in order to obtain the purity of the heart and of the soul! We must live to transform the souls and help others, to become more perfect and to approach God — according to the state of the souls!
“This had become very stirringly clear to me only when I saw the approach of death!
“I was scared to die… At that moment, Mary helped me a lot, so that I could accept in peace and love the inevitability of death and make the transition into the other worlds.
“When I left the body, I saw a light that was, as it were, a little bit in the haze. And in this golden mist, I was met by my parents and many other souls. There was nothing bad or scary. Understanding that there is no death at all was comforting and even joyful.
“But it was not that perfect state that I experienced several times when Jesus revealed to us the Radiance of the Holy Spirit, granting us by His Power the opportunity to experience the Supreme Divine state!
“And after… I do not know how to describe it to you…
“I thought about this Fiery Light of the Holy Spirit — and then I saw all my life lived: I saw what was good in it, and what was bad. All this was explained to me in the Divine Light — with gentle caresses, without pronounced words. It was coming… like an understanding.
“I had realized that I was not yet able to enter the Bliss of the Life in that Light… For I — as a soul — was different from that Light. I was — as if denser. As if the grayish shadows inside myself-soul were keeping me from the possibility of merging with this Light and dissolving in It…
“And I asked for the possibility of correcting my mistakes and achieving the beautiful world of the Holy Spirit.
“Then I saw Jesus in the Shining Light and heard Him calling me. And I went to this call.
“And now, I am with you again! And my gratitude to Jesus is without bounds!”
… We all listened in amazement to the story of Lazarus.
Then Jesus summed it up:
“Understand that each of you, and not just our dear friend Lazarus who has returned to us, is gifted by God with the miracle of life in the body on the Earth, during which there is an opportunity to approach God!
“Let the return of Lazarus be that miracle that will remind many people in the future that life is valuable and that it is not given to everyone in vain! Yes, a person can, during his or her life in the body, cultivate the ability to unite with God!
“Spiritual transformation requires efforts and time. And it makes sense not to squander and waste the time of life on the Earth!
“And the fear of the death of the body disappears when we know the Heavenly Father.
“Tomorrow morning, we will continue the talk about those real efforts that will help everyone, who wants with all his or her heart, — the Oneness with God!”
Lazarus was now perfectly well. He seemed to be younger, cheerful, and full of strength and hope, like never before.
In the evening, Jesus offered:
“Lazarus, tell us about what you experienced, so that everyone here will know this from you.”
… And Lazarus told about his bitter afflictions before his death and about what he had experienced when he had died:
“To receive the Divine Instructions and not fulfill them is an expression of disrespect and disregard for God!
“It is negligible — the happiness from all the earthly joys, from all the earthly successes, from the respect and honor in the eyes of other people, and from the savings for one’s well-being in the world!
“I understood this only before death itself, when there was no time and energy to change anything.
“Each of us is given the opportunity to live here — in order to obtain the purity of the heart and of the soul! We must live to transform the souls and help others, to become more perfect and to approach God — according to the state of the souls!
“This had become very stirringly clear to me only when I saw the approach of death!
“I was scared to die… At that moment, Mary helped me a lot, so that I could accept in peace and love the inevitability of death and make the transition into the other worlds.
“When I left the body, I saw a light that was, as it were, a little bit in the haze. And in this golden mist, I was met by my parents and many other souls. There was nothing bad or scary. Understanding that there is no death at all was comforting and even joyful.
“But it was not that perfect state that I experienced several times when Jesus revealed to us the Radiance of the Holy Spirit, granting us by His Power the opportunity to experience the Supreme Divine state!
“And after… I do not know how to describe it to you…
“I thought about this Fiery Light of the Holy Spirit — and then I saw all my life lived: I saw what was good in it, and what was bad. All this was explained to me in the Divine Light — with gentle caresses, without pronounced words. It was coming… like an understanding.
“I had realized that I was not yet able to enter the Bliss of the Life in that Light… For I — as a soul — was different from that Light. I was — as if denser. As if the grayish shadows inside myself-soul were keeping me from the possibility of merging with this Light and dissolving in It…
“And I asked for the possibility of correcting my mistakes and achieving the beautiful world of the Holy Spirit.
“Then I saw Jesus in the Shining Light and heard Him calling me. And I went to this call.
“And now, I am with you again! And my gratitude to Jesus is without bounds!”
… We all listened in amazement to the story of Lazarus.
Then Jesus summed it up:
“Understand that each of you, and not just our dear friend Lazarus who has returned to us, is gifted by God with the miracle of life in the body on the Earth, during which there is an opportunity to approach God!
“Let the return of Lazarus be that miracle that will remind many people in the future that life is valuable and that it is not given to everyone in vain! Yes, a person can, during his or her life in the body, cultivate the ability to unite with God!
“Spiritual transformation requires efforts and time. And it makes sense not to squander and waste the time of life on the Earth!
“And the fear of the death of the body disappears when we know the Heavenly Father.
“Tomorrow morning, we will continue the talk about those real efforts that will help everyone, who wants with all his or her heart, — the Oneness with God!”
[Translation will be continued.]
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